Get all your giggling out of your system now, children.
We took a bus from Chiang Mai to the confusingly similarly-sounding Chiang Rai. Your options are to take one of the normal scheduled buses, which are about 140 baht (~ £2.80), stop pretty frequently, aren't air-conditioned (they've got desk fans bolted to most surfaces and drive with both sets of doors open instead), and are 48 narrow seats with people and belongings pushed into every available space.
Alternatively you can travel "VIP" on a small coach for 288 baht (just over a fiver) and have reclinable seats, water and a snack, AC, and just an otherwise pleasant journey. I'll let you guess which way we opted.
We only stayed the night in Chiang Rai, as we were coming back in a couple of days after we'd been to Thaton and Mae Sai. While we were there though, we organised to get a Thai massage in our room before dinner. A nice lady and her colleague duly came up and beat the shit out of us. Chan still has the marks now. Thusly wrecked, we went to a local restaurant that did Lanna (northern Thai) cuisine.
The following morning we got a taxi to drop us off the following morning at the boat stop on the river so we could catch the 10:30 service up to Thaton. There is a 'government', i.e scheduled service to and from Thaton daily. Alternatively you can charter your own boat privately. I was guessing we might need to get our own boat because of luggage, even though we were down to one body bag after leaving one in storage in Bangkok. But they just throw everyone's bags in a pile at the bow, so we got on with everybody else, who turned out to be two French couples.
The boats on the rivers in Thailand are invariably 'long-tail' boats: long banana-shaped canoes powered by car engines driving a propeller directly from the drive-shaft by way of several meters of rod, hence the name. The driver pivots the whole engine assembly to maneuver the boat.
The boat stops at a handful of resort areas and other places of tourist note, like an elephant camp (Chan is frowning) and hill tribe village (where you can gawp at the long-necked ladies, if you're so inclined). But our crowd were all on for Thaton, as we were.
The seasons in this part of the world are really just wet and dry, and we were there when it was dry and so the river level was relatively low. This made for some (literally) rocky going and at one point our driver had us get out and walk for half a kilometer as he needed the boat higher in the water to clear some shallows.
We went around one blind corner, just for counterpart boat coming the other direction to outright crash into us, each turning just in time such that we collided side-by-side rather than the other guy running several of us through with his bowsprit, leaving me within hand-shaking distance of an American in the same seat on the other boat. We said hi.
There were various villagers along the way, socialising and washing by the water or fishing. Everyone smiled and waved at us like the nosy clowns that we were. The wild pigs and herds of water buffalo weren't quite as interested.
The journey takes 4 hours, which makes for a bit of a numb bum, as you're essentially sat on some padding on the wooden floor. But it's a very scenic trip, and so much better than getting there by bus.
We arrived in Thaton, said farewell to our fellow travellers and walked the half mile or so to the little resort where we were staying - a hideaway in the hills owned by a retired Frenchman and his Thai wife.
The sun was a touch oppressive by this point, but it didn't seem far enough to trouble a taxi for. A local chap in a pickup pulled over when we were about halfway there, asking if we were going to a place on a leaflet he gestured to. We said no, we're only walking around the corner. Then we saw that our destination was about 300m up a 1:4 incline, which was fun in the heat. So, wheezing and dripping with sweat, we get there only for it to transpire that all of our co-travellers were staying in the same place and the nice bloke with the truck was sent to get them. Curses.
All of our fellow guests there were French, the owner plainly being a bit of a magnet for his kind here in northern Thailand, forming some weird French enclave in the trees.
We spent the night there and made sure to trek up to the local temple to get the view.
For posterity, in case anyone is googling for details of the boat trip from Chaing Rai in the Thaton direction, as we were vainly trying to do before we went, here is the cost break-down for the various stops and options as of 9th Feb 2016:
The tickets are sold at the boat station next to the bridge, but not until 10am for a 10:30 launch. Be there no later than 10:!5 if you want to get a place.
We left Bangkok to spend a week exploring northern Thailand, starting with 3 nights in Chiang Mai.
Chiang Mai is a city which dates from 1200, and it used to be the capital of the northern Thai kingdom of Lanna. You can still see the remnants of the wall and gates which marked the boundaries of the old city. Modern day Chiang Mai has moved beyond these boundaries with new shopping malls, living spaces and coffee shops. It's very visitor friendly and indeed a number of travellers choose to hang around here for a few months as it is quite easy to fall into life here.
The first day here was spent taking it a bit easy as Gareth was not feeling very well. Our foray to the local mall pharmacy for lots of drugs was successful, or at least the Thai writing looked too nice to have been something that would kill him. Although I am not ruling out it containing some sort of bleach - the majority of beauty products here promise skin whitening. The deodorant I use at home is sold here for a quarter of the price but it does promise to whiten my armpits as well. Row after row of moisturisers, make up, toners, makeup removers, aftershaves all say that they ingredients to make your skin a few shades lighter. This desire to be fairer skinned is reflected by the models chosen in TV advertising, on billboards and magazine covers. The fear of darker skin can be seen by the clown makeup worn by a lot of girls; by the layers worn by tourists on the hottest of days whilst hiding under their umbrellas; and the tone of adverts for some of these products. This was something I was not aware of as an issue in this area of the world until we started this trip, and is yet something else which causes me to gnash my teeth.
Gareth decided that a hot Thai curry might blow away his stuffy head so we went for a wander and managed to end up in a local restaurant that (we subsequently discovered) is raved about in the guide books. The bargain price of £7.50 found us well drunk and well fed.
The next day we decided to explore the must see sight of the area,Wat Doi Suthep which is one Thailand's most famous temples and is helpfully situated up a mountain. However, our hotel was outside the old city and, as the guide books only gave information from the old city, we were unsure how to travel the 15km to get there. In the end, I did what has worked well on the trip so far. I stood on my own (in a safe place), made my eyes look really big, chewed on my lip and waited until someone came over to see how they could help. Result.
A songthaew - luxury like you can't imagine
We arranged a songthaew to take us up the mountain, wait and bring us back again. The journey was a bit hairy as it is quite a winding road and I was gripping on for dear life as the hill was steep enough that I slid backwards a bit ad didn’t want to fall out the back and be run over by one of the many mad moped drivers.
We then marched* up the 300 steps of the mythical naga serpent staircase.
*wheezed slowly in the 37 degree heat.
Wat Suthep was built as a monastery in the 1300’s and is still a working monastery.
The gold plated chedi topped by a five tiered umbrella is a well-known sight.
Wat Suthep provides a view of the whole city.
We had to change our original plans, hence having a night outside the old city. However, for the subsequent nights we had booked a little B&B in a prime location in the old city. It was really convenient for the famous Sunday night walking market.
Tootsie rubs en masse.
The next day we had booked a outing too the Elephant Nature Park. Seeing Elephants in Thailand was one of things we had put on the bucket list for this trip. However, it was only when we were looking at where we should go, that I learned about the ugly side of elephant life in Thailand. I would invite you to go and read about it for yourself but in summary baby elephants are separated from their herd and then their spirit is broken. This process might take a week and can involve the elephant being chained up, hit and burned. During this time an elephant has to be watched very carefully lest they kill themselves by stepping on its own trunk.
This process results in an elephant who is fearful and therefore who can be controlled. This control often takes the form of a stick with a sharp hook on it to motivate the elephant. An elephant might be made to perform, made to work in the logging industry or made to give rides to tourists. It might appear that carrying tourists round is harmless but in actual fact an elephant’s back is actually really weak and carrying people causes a lot of strain on the elephant and causes it long lasting damage. The big chairs which tourists often sit in add to that weight. Intrepid travel have taken the decision not to include any elephant rides in their tours and I think they provide useful information on this issue.
We selected the Elephant Nature Park because it was an organisation that seemed to have clean hands. It looked after elephants who had suffered at the hands of humans. We met blind elephants and witnessed the scars where they had been struck which caused the blindness. We saw elephants who had stepped on landmines while logging. We saw an elephant whose back had been broken from being ridden. We saw elephants that had suffered injuries and not been able to heal properly. We saw an elephant that had been kept in solitary confinement and abused for so long that now it can't mix with other elephants.
These two were 'grandmas' and in their 80s
We saw the conditions that they now live in , with loads of open space and herds to socialise with. They now have plenty of food (obviously these elephants could never survive in the wild having been removed as babies) and people looking after them without sticks or threats. We saw some happy elephants and importantly we saw a lot of safe elephants.
That tree trunk was about 30m long and he shook it like a rattle.
The Elephant Nature Park obviously didn’t think it had enough on its plate as following the floods in 2012, their volunteers headed to the cities to rescue all the dogs who had been abandoned by their owners (about 400 in total). They are now living in the park too, and the organisation is trying to re-home them. Gareth was in his element and I think would have taken them all home with him if he could, even the ones wearing the red scarves (they're the ones who still have problems with people), The organisation has a scheme where they can organize all the paperwork and have the dogs meet you at the airport to go home with you.
No pressure.
We had a lovely day at the park and I admit part of the good feeling we had after the visit was the thought that we had spent our money in the right place.
Photobombed. The one on the right looks after the one on the left, who is still a bit aggressive. She liked Gareth though.
This guy has the best job
One place we chose not to spend our money, despite voluminous advertising, is the Tiger Kingdom in Chiang Mai (many people are aware of the Tiger Temple in Bangkok and the stories of tigers being drugged etc. and this place is not the same organisation). Tiger Kingdom is a place where you can visit and choose to handle, have pictures with and play with tigers. You can pick the ages of tiger up to 36 months old. I am sure we would all want to spend some time hugging and playing with a little Tigger. Absolutely adorable.
But that picture comes at a price. I have seen a few people who have been very vocal about elephant riding but have been happy to spend their money at Tiger Kingdom as “they don’t drug the tigers”. I am not suggesting that they do drug their tigers or even that they abuse them. The reason why I would not spend my money here is that the tigers are removed from their mother so they can be hand reared by the park such that they will be amenable to being in contact with humans.
However, when they reach around 36 months they are too dangerous to be around people anymore, so they are kept elsewhere in the park. They are no longer making money, but they will live for another 20 years. In the meantime the money is needed from the tourists coming through the door so there needs to be more cubs to attract the big tourist dollar. So it continues. Tiger Kingdom makes no pretense of suggesting that these tigers will ever be released into the wild and indeed they cannot be after how they have been raised as they have no skills to survive. Tiger Kingdom refers to them running a captive breeding programme and that is what they are doing by keeping tigers and breeding them for future revenue streams. These are healthy tigers who will remain in captivity not to contribute to replenishing their species but because cutesy pictures make money.
We have visited zoos (after checking out their credentials) on this trip and seen many amazing animals in the wild. I would obviously prefer to see them in the wild but I also understand the contribution of some zoos, not just in terms of breeding or rehabilitation programmes, but in raising awareness of species and instilling conservation in children. After all there is a reason the money pours in to conserve the panda and not the hornet robber fly. A quick search of species that have gone extinct over the last few decades is terrifying and distressing, but I don’t think that Tiger Kingdom’s method of “preserving” a species is the answer.
So with apologies to those who have already heard this little spiel, I would ask all of you not to give money to elephants (or other animals) performing tricks on the street (who are often dosed with amphetamine so that they can work longer); not to pose with animals on the street -whether sloths or puppies or whatever- and report your distaste for these practices, should you come across them, to the appropriate government tourist board. You are in a powerful position and governments will listen if enough tourists make enough noise. Finally please do some research so you can make an informed choice about what you do on your holidays and the impact of your tourist dollar.
I’ll finish on a happier note with some pictures of lovely Chiang Mai and a promise that the next post will be back to Gareth being irreverent.
B&B
Postscript comment from Gareth - Elephants: Just because they're there, doesn't mean you need to sit on the fucking thing. Tigers: Just because they're there and cat shaped, doesn't mean you should undo it's prime role of being half a tonne of antisocial murder just so you can rub it's furry tummy and take a selfie.
