We took a flight to L.A (to John Wayne airport, Orange county, not LAX – there lies madness), so we could pick up our cruise but also pop into Disneyland. Last time we were there it was on our honeymoon back in 2007, so it was nice to come back. It’s also their 60th Anniversary so we were expecting some nice fireworks. For the those uninformed in the way of the Mouse, Disneyland was the first theme park that Walt built, predating Disneyworld Orlando by about 20 years. It’s got a similar setup to Paris, being split between two parks: the original Disneyland with the famous bits like Pirates of the Caribbean and It’s a Small World, and Californian Adventure which has the newer things like the Tower of Terror and Cars land. We were in the area for a few days so we bounced about between the two.
I’m a dark and cynical soul, boiling over with ennui and existential angst, but I do have a soft spot for Disney. It’s a smaltzy, overly-commercial sledgehammer of shite, but I have a problem disliking it. It’s a fun atmosphere and I’m a big cuddly fucking teddy bear. The most distracting annoyance is the congestion caused by American parents pushing their seven year olds around in prams and the ubiquitous butter-basted landwhales on mobility scooters. I swear to God, the things you see when you’re out without your gun.
For a happier image, here’s Mickey and Minnie cutting a rug
Anyway, aside from the anniversary, the park was also in Halloween mode. I really like Disneyland Paris at Halloween as they make the place up well, with orange paint everywhere, sinister pumpkin men dangling off everything and a parade featuring just the villains. Don’t judge me. That said, we went to Orlando in October once and the equivalent effort at Disneyworld was bollocks. I found Mickey Mouse and beat him relentlessly until the both of us were crying. So my expectations were lowered. It turns out they keep it minimal in California, but they went mental at the Haunted Mansion, turning it into a baffling Halloween/Yuletide “Nightmare Before Christmas” thing. It was definitely different. I’ll point out for those familiar with the ride who’re interested that they’ve redone the whole thing, not just given it a lick of paint. The Ouija/crystal ball lady reads out a screwed-up version of the Twelve Days of Christmas, for example. I liked it.
This was a bit of a swede-masher
They had closed Pirates for maintenance, which was irksome as I like that one, but I let Donald off with an overly firm handshake and passive aggressive “No, It’s fine, really.”.
This motherfucker knows what’s up
Oh and while I’m thinking of it, if you go on Mr Toad’s Wild Ride, just be aware that the ride involves you being driven recklessly by Mr Toad until you hit a train and go to hell. Literally. It was all a bit heavy for me, to be honest. If you go to Florida, they’ve gotten rid of that ride and put a Toad-shaped gravestone by the Haunted Mansion, just to highlight how dead he is and how he’s now roasting away with the fallen. Disney don’t hold back, son - ask Bambi’s mum.
Burn out, don’t fade away.
One thing Disney does particularly well are fireworks (they can do smiley faces and Mickey heads and everything) and this being an anniversary year meant they set about defying the gods and turning night to day. I likes me some explosions, I does. They also projected accompanying images onto Main Street and a nearby mountain which they’ve built since last time. And they dumped snow on us too during the obligatory Frozen bit (apparently this and the other shoe-horned Frozen introductions are a bit of a sore point with the Disney park fanatics as they feel that film is taking over with it’s conquering army of ‘Tween Elsas and Annas. Guys, let it go), which was impressive in Californian September.
Pictured: Witchcraft
So yeah, it was a giggle. We’re winding down on the North American leg of the trip, so it was good to stop by before catching the big boat.
The Mouse is mother; the Mouse is father
Kurzfassung auf Deutsch: Ich mag Disneyland. Beurteilen Sie mich nicht.
No comments:
Post a Comment