'Roos loose in the top paddock.

I'm boldly going to cover Oz in one post, as I work better riding the stream of consciousness thing.  That and I’m in mortal danger of actually catching up to where we are, heaven forefend.  Actually, fat chance of that: we're already two countries away.

Our trip to Australia was focussed mainly on visiting friends in Adelaide and Brisbane – as it’s one of the more expensive countries on our trip and mooching of the goodwill of friends does wonders for the budget-  but we stayed for a night in Sydney at either end so as not to place too much faith in the internal flights not buggering up our schedule.  With that in mind, our first night was spent in Darling Harbour in Sydney, where we stayed at the Ovolo 1888 hotel, who did themselves no disservice by offering a complimentary minibar and free drinks and nibbles in the bar.  Ever keen to maintain her apex predator credentials, Chan had a kangaroo sandwich and some free wine; the best kind of wine.

She could barely tolerate it

Incidentally, for some historic commercial reason, Burger King is called Hungry Jack's here.  I first saw this on our last trip down under in 2009 and I couldn't summon the interest to check why this was the case then, and I damned if I'm going to start now.

Huh

While we were in the area we met up with Chan's mother's best friend from school, Caroline, (whose daughter is the similarly-named Chantal) to catch up with them both since the last time we were here.  That was a great start, not least since it was several months since we’d seen anyone we knew, so it was nice to see familiar faces.

We got to Adelaide in time for beer/wine and a sunset by the beach.

That same day we caught a flight to Adelaide, where we were going to spend some time with Aussie friends we’ve known since they lived in the UK, way back when.  Last time we visited John and Philippa, we became godparents to their son -the fantastically named Isambard- back when he was six months old.  He’s now nearly seven and has a formidable four year-old sister, Harriette.  Izzy wore me out last time with his penchant for being bounced in the air; this time he utilised my affinity for Lego Star Wars on the Wii.  Frankly those are the sum of my child-occupying skills anyway.

For five of the days we were there, we all went to Kangaroo Island to stay in a beachfront home, which was another crippling hardship.  Last time we were in Australia, we failed to see a single kangaroo in the wild, despite being there for a month and driving the 700 km from Melbourne to Adelaide.  I was fairly convinced they were an elaborate jest to fool us gullible tourists, perhaps they were animatronics and dressed up labradors.   So I was kind of hoping to maintain the joke by not seeing any here, but I was later foiled.

Kangaroo Island is off the coast of Adelaide and is something of a wildlife hotspot, being home to seals, sea lions, kangaroos (natch), wallabies, koalas, possums, echidnas and the handful of penguins who've not been eaten by the burgeoning numbers of seals.  

The island is home to the sole surviving 'pure' colony of Ligurian honey bees, which originated in Italy.  They are officially protected and there are harsh fines for bringing domestic bees or bee-products from the mainland in order to protect them. So Oz, a country that is perpetually fighting the effects of foreign introduced species of flora and fauna, protects this foreign species from what would be the natural insect inhabitants. Anyway they sell lots of honey from here, which you'll find all over the world.

One of the days there, John, Izzy and I chartered a boat and went fishing in the sea.  I’ve done some freshwater fishing in ponds, lakes and canals but this was a bit new for me.  This was our opportunity to be hunter-gatherers, lest the girls go hungry and crush us with their withering gaze of hungry disappointment.  Luckily for us, Izzy had our back.

I caught two flatheads.  Imaginatively, they are called this because they have flat heads. They taste good but have wicked spines along the top, upon which I cut myself just after warning the kids not to touch. 

Granted, they've known happier days and look better cooked

John caught two mackerel, which I thought was reasonable but apparently they don’t eat them here and so instead use them for bait.  That meant that Izzy caught the bulk of this haul.  He was admirably non-magnanimous and utterly immodest, on account of him being six.

We also caught a slender-spined porcupine fish (puffer fish), which make for fiddly and potentially fatal eating, but did inflate amusingly before we threw him back in the oggin.

"Swallow me and rue the day!"

While on KI, we saw the full gamut of wildlife, either on a reserve or just bimbling around.

Pictured: not giving a fuck

Chan, Philippa and I went on a night walk at Hanson Bay, where we saw what scuttles about after sundown.  Then we did our best not to run it all over on the drive back. The wallabies really were asking for it.  

A Possum. Apparently they are cute but annoying.

Chan being the steely-eyed huntress that she is, spotted this echidna.  Echidnas are the only example of a monotreme other than the platypus. It's kind of a spiny anteater.   My 2-year old nephew called it a hedgehog when we sent him the pictures and I doubt he'd be too fussed about the anatomical and evolutionary differences.  We got this one on film too:

The resident baby koala did rather steal the show:

The guide did point out this quite remarkable creepy-crawly: the leaf curling spider.   They make a shelter out of leaves by curling them up at the centre of their webs.  This provides a shelter from predators and a lair to skulk in while waiting for prey.  They form pairs, such that the male and female live at separate ends of the leaf, which is admirably domesticated of them.

On the arachnid front, we found this colourful little nope in a bush.  Apparently, while adorably terrifying, he is a type of orb spider and is therefore harmless.

And yes, there are 'roos here -the smaller grey kind rather than the big red ones, but Chan was pleased to find out they actually exist.

Over on Seal Bay, we witnessed the total absence of seals.  They do have plenty of sea lions though. In case you don't know how to tell them apart: seals have a big mermaid-style fishtail and sea lions have little flippery feet things they can walk on. 

At one point I did also see this gargantuan ant specimen, who, I swear, turned his massive-mandibled face to look at me while I was taking his picture, before deciding I was beneath his attention and got on with his ant business - which, I’m guessing, involved the inevitable subjugation of the human race.

I didn’t need to ask any locals to ascertain that getting bitten (or stung, as apparently ants can have stingers like wasps in this benighted country) would be bad news.  I'm not even sure what it is since every picture on the intertubes looks a bit modest by comparison.  So, entomologists in the audience: which ant is about 15mm long and has a yellow-red abdomen and possible prison house tats from that stretch he did after he got run in for extorting termites?

Edit -  I just found it: The Jack Jumper Ant.  It is both venomous, particularly aggressive and can jump large distances.  But of course it can.

We also popped in to see the birds of prey at a local reserve, most of whom were in some manner of rehabilitation for injury or were incapable of fending for themselves in the wild.
This is a tawny frogmouth, which get mistaken for owls as they look like owls. They also look like they have taken exactly all the shit they are going to take from you today:

"Whatever you are doing, could you please just not?"

This guy below is a wedge-tailed eagle, the largest raptor in this part of the world.  They have been known to gang up and kill red kangaroos - which is pretty metal.

"God, you all look delicious"

And since we can't get enough rock formations on this trip, we made sure to drive to Flinders Chase National Park, to see the Remarkables (granite rocks formed into odd shapes over the millennia), Admiral's Arch (and its seals) and the lighthouse at Cape Borda.

When we got back from Kangaroo Island, John and I drove to Castlemaine to pick up their new puppy: a Lagotto Romagnolo named Lochie.

It was a fair trek, 12 hours and 1400 km, there and back, which is my longest road trip in a holiday full of road miles.  But, you know, there was puppy for the second half so I was sold.   

This is him practising his good boy pose

I also got to see the giant Koala on the way, which was an emotional moment I can tell you.

The day we left Adelaide, we first got to accompany Lochie to the beach for his introduction to the seaside.  He was understandably sceptical of all the odd-tasting wet, but was keen on this whole wide open spaces malarky.  There’s nothing happier than puppies shown the outside for the first time.

“Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! This is the best day ever!” – Lochie

Also: at come point Chantelle’s hair went green.

Lochie also helped us pack by running off with our socks and making a bed in our suitcase.

“Mine”

So that was Adelaide: good times with good friends.  We really should pop by more frequently than every six years.

Following our now established pattern of imposing on nice people, we flew up to Brisbane to occupy the home of our friends Naomi and Aaron.  We also got to appreciate the subtropical humidity. Jesus, but it's like breathing through a wet sock.

We did the cultural thing and visited the city's excellent museums, but really we got to spend some more time with great people before launching off into southeast Asia.

Kurzfassung auf Deutsch:  Wir sind Australien besucht.  Wir sind nicht von giftigen Tieren getötet, die von hier ein Erfolg ist.