I’ve acquired some internet on a port call in Mexico, so here’s an attempt at an update. Update on the update: the Mexican Wi-Fi didn't hold up, so this is being posted with everything else after the cruise. This makes no difference to you, but just in case you care that I tried.
Having collected das Auto (from our hotel, which we somehow almost missed anyway) we set off for a tour of the American civil war battlefields in and around the area.
We don’t get taught much about the US civil war in the UK, as we can’t fathom internal conflicts that don’t involve cutting the head off a monarch of some description. Bit of context we learned: Nearly as many Americans died in the civil war as in every other US conflict combined (up to and including Vietnam).
Which, given the relative size and population of the US at the time, is pretty bad.
Pictured: unpleasantness
We stayed at one B&B up near Gettysburg, which wasn’t the final battle of the war (I always thought it was), but rather the breaking of Robert E Lee’s string of victories for the south, so more the beginning of the end. We visited the battlefields there and drove downstate via Manassas, site of the 1st and 2nd battle of the Bull Run. I’m vaguely familiar with those conflicts as Bernard Cornwell (of Sharpe fame) wrote a few books following a captain in the Confederate army in those fights (the Starbuck chronicles). He lost steam when he realised all the books after that one would involve his protagonist losing most of the time, which makes for terrible TV adaptations.
Stonewall Jackson. Shown in his true ‘Adonis’ form
Reb sharpshooters snuck into this house and harried the Union cannon in this exact location. The house was rebuilt after the very predictable happened.
We then drove down to Virginia and stayed at another B&B in Richmond (the “Historic Fairfield Inn” - we stayed in Confederate General Jeb Stuart’s room, apparently) which was the capital of the Confederacy. You can tell if your lodgings are legitimately 19th century because the stairs are totally on the piss. While here we popped over to Williamsburg, which has been maintained as a living museum of revolutionary (read: traitorous) era America. So they have all the artisans going about the trades of blacksmithing, shoemaking, brickmaking etc. using authentic materials and techniques. I half expected it to be all renaissance fayre tackiness, but it was actually very insightful. And there is a bloke there who will make you a musket if you want one, which is good to know. It was good to be back in the familiar territory of being the bad guys, too.
It’ll never catch on
A woman addicted to chocolate and swears profusely when denied it? That narrows it down.
Governor’s mansion: boo hiss.
After all this we drove through the Blue Ridge pass to get to Tennessee. Not before I was pulled over by the local plod for speeding. I wasn’t driving any faster than the locals (but still faster than legal – Chantelle) but evidently driving a Mercedes with New York plates attracts the attention of the West Virginia constabulary. You don’t have to go to court if you pay ahead (including a 4% convenience fee), so that’s nice of them. Sheriff’s Deputy Williams did his part for the county coffers that evening. It was cruise control set to the limit for the duration of this leg. Pricks.
Kurzfassung auf Deutsch: Ich bin in Mexiko und ein wenig betrunken. Wir sahen einige Schlachtfeldern und verlor mehr als für das Schnellfahren gezogen, weil wir eine überlegene Deutsch Autofahren.
